As we were warming up and preparing our equipment for the competition, one of the more popular upper classman had randomly come up to me and casually said, “The world would be better off if you had just killed yourself.” I was left stunned. I wasn’t depressed or in any kind of negative mindset. I was just your over enthusiastic, high school freshman kid excited to be at my first ever band competition. Inevitably I broke down crying and couldn’t understand how someone could be such a bully and say something so mean. Especially someone I never really talked to or even knew.
That incident was so long ago and I ask myself, why does it matter now? I was most certainly a naive kid then and maybe I am now. I’ve always felt socially awkward and really struggled to find my place fitting in. I never had any problem standing out however, and not always in a good way.
I’ve made no secret of my goal to one day compete at the Olympic Games. Is it a long shot? Sure, but I one thing is certain is that I am not afraid to try. I have encountered my fair share of bullies and in general people that would just pass me off as irrelevant because I didn’t matter in their grand scheme of the social status. I most certainly felt rejected but it had never stopped me from achieving what I set out to do and just as quickly as I was rejected, I found my place in a community I really did belong.
Motivation comes from many places and for me one place I draw motivation from is those bullies and irrelevant people. I don’t have anything to prove to anybody, but I do see myself as being able to rise above these people and showing the world that I do matter, I belong and most importantly that the world would not be better off if I were dead.